Pedal Strike

I thought it was hilarious when Representative Barney Frank asked a woman, who compared planned health care reforms to Nazi policies, “on what planet do you spend most of your time?”

In a way, that’s not such a rhetorical question when you’re in Massachusetts.

I was hoping the crazy was limited to the rare isolated instance that I was just unlucky enough to observe. But unlocking my bike today, I realized how very, very wrong I was. Either that or I’m in some twilight zone or simply going insane. It’s getting hard to tell.

Someone please confirm that it’s actually 2009. Because when I saw this helmet, I sort of looked around feeling slightly displaced, then had to look at the date stamped onto it one more time. I mean, I know vintage is in, but…really?

I was sort of still trying to remember what I was doing back in ’94 when I ended up stumbling upon the laziest lock-up job I’ve seen in the past week. It actually made me do a double-take as I initially thought that the cable lock on the left was only looped around the brake cable [it was looped around the handlebars]. Granted, neither bike looked like it was worth stealing, but come on! I feel like I’m taking crazy pills, or something [+100 points if you got that movie reference]!

And while I’m really loving that stem on the left, that doesn’t mean I’m not a different planet. Because the other day, I also parked right next to what had to be E.T.’s new bike. With a seat that low, and upright positioning, the owner of this bike has the shortest legs and the longest torso currently known to man. I was tempted to wait around to see who owned it, but images of a glowing finger pointing at me were sufficient to scare me away [I never liked aliens, even friendly ones].

It could be the schoolwork, and the hours spent in front of a glowing laptop screen. It could also be the copious amounts of hot water flavored with essence of coffee that I’ve been voluntarily buying and consuming at school. But this strikes normal, non-Bostonians as slightly fucking insane, right? I’m not the only one who thinks this…right???

Someone please let me know if I’m in some “I am Legend”-esque situation here. And yes I’m dead serious.

Tags:   boston · crazy · et · lock-ups10 Comments