Fake til you make it. That’s what some reliable news sources [read: Cosmo] have taught me.
That might be why I only wear spandex and Sidis nowadays and will at least try to look the part of serious cyclist. Let’s try to forget that I’m currently – and probably will continue to be – incredibly slow. Those are small details that aren’t really relevant to this discussion.
Given my recent acquisition of Sidis [seriously one of the most comfortable, efficient things I’ve ever had attached to my feet], it probably doesn’t come as a surprise that I’m turning the “faking it” up a notch. I even have a jersey now [okay, that was almost a joke purchase but I love to rock it]. Now if only my Bianchi looked less like a commuter beater bike and more…racy.
Of course – this being me – I mean that in both senses of the word. The Bianchi being my official training bike [I am currently shamelessly loving that freewheel], I need it to be fast and, you know, as sexy as possible. And while the pink + dark green theme was cool in that super fixster look-I’m-so-hipster-I-can-look-good-in-colors-that-don’t-really-match kind of way, watermelons don’t really move quickly. They sort of just roll sluggishly.
So it was time for a change. Chris had been pointing out how faded out and gross my formerly pink bartape was for about the past month [yeah, I have amazing friends]. I tested the waters with the purchase and application of a pair of Vittoria Randonneurs. They looked fast. I plunged into the “racy” pool with Pro white bartape last night.
Yeah, yeah, I know. Me? Fast? It’s more than a vain hope. It’s more like a delusion. Still, I’ve heard, from reliable sources, that while training endlessly will make you fast, white bartape makes you go even faster. Okay, yeah, that presumes you enjoy training for hours on a trainer, Powercranks, and that inexplicable pain of drinking protein shakes. I’m obviously not there yet…but I’m working on it.
In the meantime, the goal is to at least look like I enjoy all of the above. I’m already practicing chugging protein shakes with a smile. Now if only my legs can keep up…
[Oh, and I’m expecting full reports on Battenkill!]
Tags: delusion · fast · pro bartape · protein · slow · training · vittoria randonneurs5 Comments
5 responses so far ↓
I like the white on white. This surely must be a fast combination.
galen — thank you! i think it would be fast under anyone but me…but i’m working on it.
eff protein, more carbs, seriously. protein is really only good for post work out (within 20 minutes) when your muscles can actually take advantage of it. otherwise your body makes sure it just comes out your butt.
Two words: White Saddle.
pete — good, because protein shakes are disgusting.
RMM — totally.