Pedal Strike

These past few days, I’ve been feeling consistently moist.

And yes, it feels as disgusting as that sentence sounds. Because it’s been 95 degrees out lately. Yeah, that’s right. 95 motherfuckin degrees.

Seriously, this weather is not joking around. I’m sweating just sitting in my apartment, motionless. Going outside means being instantly swaddled in a blanket of wet heat, and stepping off the sidewalk onto the burning asphalt is akin to what you’d expect of an outer ring of purgatory. It is fucking scorching out.

The irony being that it sort of feels like home. Tokyo, that is. Back when my sister and I were living in Tokyo, I would get dragged to kendo practice in the early morning hours of summer Sundays. My brain still completely asleep, we’d hop a train to Shibuya to swing around a bamboo sword in a dojo that lacked AC. I consistently passed out during practice from dehydration.

But while those few summer practice sessions were incredibly embarrassing, my sister taught me something that summer: never underestimate a lesbian on an athletic mission. Because while I had – and continue to be – “the prepared one,” who carries around tissues, handkerchiefs, chapstick, hand cream, and gum, my sister was the one that produced an ice cold towel in a ziplock bag that summer.

It’s a simple concept that actually screams “holy shit you are a godsend!!!” A small hand towel soaked in water, wrung out a little, slipped into a ziplock bag and thrown into the freezer overnight, it thaws just enough in a sports bag or jersey pocket [or you know, just leave it on the counter before you hit the gym]. Press it against your forehead or the back of your neck and it’s just as good as jumping into a pool post-ride.

It also feels pretty awesome post-drenching-session-on-the-rollers. In fact, make sure you have one on hand when you climb onto those things. Because when your shorts get caught on your saddle and your whole bike rolls backwards just as you hop forward and the stem smashes into your public bone, you just might thank me.

I’m not even kidding. And, you’re welcome.

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